and now the end is near...

[listening to] aircon. yun lang.

It's always like this at the end of the sem. The same feeling of hopelessness and a kind of regret. I wonder why I never learn. Guh.

ACADS:
- Ohmycrap, Chem 31. Why? Why must I be such a moron when it comes to organic chemistry? But, I bought myself a copy of Schaum's Outlines for Organic Chem. Recommended by Sam. I will give a full report if it was worth every peso of its P495 price tag when I get my classcard.
- I never thought it would come to this, but I'm worried about the result of an exam in ChE 31. Under Doc W.I.Joe (hehe). It could be the fact that I've been skipping his classes for the past weeks. And my not studying for the exam.
- GEs: keep me sane. Yippee.
- Hmm, Physics. I'm not sure where I stand, but not an area of immediate concern (ie I'm not close to failing...I think).
- PE: HAAHAHAAAHAH.

LOVELIFE:
- I wish I had something to put here. Still non-existent. Isang sem na lang, aalis na sya. At wala pa rin akong kwenta. Bah.
-

ETC.:
- Aaaah. I hate the real world. Getting documents for a passport is hard.
- *still praying to the CRS gods* Yeees, I get the subjects I want, but you guys always change the sked. Could you not do it this time, and anytime in the foreseeable future? I would be really, really, REALLY grateful. Thanks.
- Nintendo, you really need to do something about the PSP. The DS doesn't cut it.
- Oh, and did you know that Sony actually infringed on some company's patent with the DualShock controller? A US Court ruled that they should pay a bazillion USD in damages. Sorry, no link. Try Google.:P
- Mmm. Granola bars.
- You have to try this. It's insanely engrossing. And wholesome fun.

*
Oh, and Annnnnne! <333

To hell (aka Taguig) and back.

[listening to] waah Animal Crossing willnotbetempted

Yes, I know. I'm just a whiny little girl who hates dragging her ass off the bed for any long commute (unless of course, the perks are worth it, hehe). But I really, really disliked the trek to Taguig. It could be
a) my lack of sleep due to the shitload of exams last week
b) not really knowing how to get to bloody Taguig, despite having gone there before
c) ohtheheat and the DUSTDUSTDUSTstickingtomysweatyself
d) the equally sweaty and creepy old guy who sat beside me on the bus
e) unhelpful jeepney drivers
f) all the bureacratic red tape just to get an official receipt, when I paid ages ago

or a combination of all of the above. And I have to go back there next week for the clearance, which I will use to get an NBI clearance, which I will need for a passport.

Haaah. What one does to fulfill one's dreams...

*

In case you were wondering, NO, I am not going to Japan. Yet. Not for sure, anyway. If you've read the last entry, you too perhaps were astounded by my stupidity and misfortune. But someone up there loves me, nyaha.:D No, a nominee wasn't killed off or something (like what I wished for, in a moment of weakness). He/she backed out and the slot was given to moi.

I'm crossing my fingers. I wouldn't mind a few prayers, too.:D Especially since the prof I need for the recommendation form has been missing since Friday...

*

GAAAH! CRS. I hope I'm as lucky as I usually am (eg. luckier than the average Eng'g student).

*

I never really knew him that well. He was just Kellsye's BF, ex-Labuyo player, and the guy with the loud Hawaiian-print polos who would attend our Physics 73 class now and then. But when I found out about his death, an inexplicable wave of sadness rushed over me. While cramming for Chem 31, all I could think of was how he was too fucking young to die.

Goodbye, Merwin. You are loved dearly, and will sorely be missed by your friends and family.

OMG.

[listening to] the screams inside my head

One email: "Yes, you actually had a chance."
Two parts of an equation: Pat = Idiot.
Three weeks: The time that has elapsed.
Four blog entries: *points down*
Five lessons learned: Never lose hope. CHECK ALL YOUR EMAIL ACCOUNTS AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. TRUST YOUR INTUITION. Dream and do. And never again feel the need to change your cellphone number.
Six emotions: Regret. Frustration. Longing. Pain. Envy. Unhappiness.
Seven words: I COULD'VE GONE TO JAPAN ON SCHOLARSHIP.

If I had checked my Gmail account way earlier. Turns out I was being offered a slot. I was asked if I was interested. DAMN RIGHT I AM.

Words are not enough to express what I'm feeling right now.

How quickly we forget.

[listening to] Dance With Me (KOREA/JAPAN Ver.) - CHEMISTRY <3

It's interesting and a little painful to see how passions shift.

A year ago, there was nothing I wanted more (well, except for tons of cash) than to study in Japan. As a scholar. But then I started to screw up grade-wise. Yes, I didn't have any failing grade (until now, whew) but my grades weren't good enough, considering my background (AKA Pisay). So applying for a scholarship was (is?) out of the question. (Oh, and apparently I am emotionally imbalanced or something. Hehe. There might be some truth to this.:P)

Now, here I am, giving up on The Japan Dream. Not entirely, not forever, but for the rest of my college life. There are other things I want to devote my time to, and there are dreams that may actually be within reach.:D

*

Why Today May Have Been A Good Day:

> Actually had fun in softball, despite my lack of hand-eye coordination.
> Ran into CCB in Philcoa. (Hmm, been seeing him around lately, just when I am so not interested.)
> Hung out in K E M - always something I look forward to. :D
> Am home! Ate non-fastfood fare for dinner and have free access to Net. Happy.

Why Today May NOT Have Been A Good Day:

> Bumped into the side of my roommate's cabinet. Got a small injury.
> Having to listen to my classmates in PE diss K E M's performance in Elevate.
> Ran into CCB in Philcoa, looking like a caveman. (I'm not interested, but it never hurts to look good.)
> ___ - You! You. Always you.

*

AAAAGH! Acads. Am really not in the mood to do anything except sleep. By the way, MS is no more. Hahaha.