huh

[mood] huh

Thought-provoking things happening all around. I know I am the sort of insecure, whiny person who agonizes over, well, anything. A lot of times it turns out I worry over nothing.

I hope this is one of those times.

*

Love. For real love to exist, do you need two people? No. Love is exhilarating when you share it with someone else. But one-sided love isn't so bad. (Although it really isn't love. Suki toka ja nakute.)

It can be so painful, and the whole concept of fervently hoping after someone who's just not into you is stupid and a waste of time. Harsh but true.

*

A scant 9 days before I leave. Tumatakbo ang oras.

light

[mood] thoughtful

We were supposed to visit my Dad's ninong (So he's like my Grandninong? Whuh?0_o) who has an advanced stage of lung cancer. But then my Dad said, "Daan muna tayo bahay," and there was the TV, PC, DVDs, so basically we never went anywhere. Even though we kept reminding each other to go already, it's like we were both reluctant to leave the house.

I was afraid. Maybe my Dad was afraid, too. Of what? Of seeing Ninong and knowing he was dying. Of death. Of leaving people you love behind.

I always thought that I'd be lucky if I experienced one life-defining moment. I was wrong. All the little moments define a life. When you look back, you'll only really remember a few: the ones filled with happiness/pain/other intense emotion. But all of them count.

Tired as this sentiment is, live life to the fullest. It's good to be aliiiiive!:D

*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to BOSS RAUL! (Sept. 20) My father, fully human and thus majorly infuriating sometimes, but whom I love to pieces.

AAAAAARGGGH

[mood] semi-despairing and yet, what can i do?

Two guesses as to how the ES 1 exam went.

I spend a ridiculous amount of time (and money) on f*cking repeat plates, sample exams, handouts, expensive-but-really-nothing-special coffee and similar to study for the bloody exam, and still, pain. Failure. I'd be lucky to get 40+ percent. Yes, it's THAT bad. It's not that the exam was hard; IT WASN'T. It's not that I didn't study; I DID.

Maybe I should go for Power Memory. Tanginang mental block 'to.

Please, pleeeease, Higher Being, I do not want to have a failing grade of any sort as excess baggage to bring to Japan. Please.

*

Speaking of Japan, it's official: I will be leaving on October 3.

When Ate Belle gave me a printout of the email from NISP with the flight details highlighted, it felt so final.

But now is not the time to emote and dwell on the things to come.

*

I said I was fine with this 'steady state' condition. That's not entirely true. Oh well. We work with what we have, as my a-hole EngJourn adviser used to say.

HAHAHAHA!

[mood]YIIIIS

Have fully functional MP with "value-added features". Hurrah! Feel much better, now I only need the algorithm documentation whatsit.

Now only my ES1 plates and Chem 153 prob set to worry about! OK so is kind of a bad thing, but huh.

a round of thank yous

[mood] huh. so hot huh.

Pat would like to thank

Ely Buendia and the rest of the Eraserheads for composing and singing Ligaya,

Ceres and Janine for all the help, back-up dancing and words of encouragement, ie "Faint heart never won fair woodland creature.",

Jerome and Lou for helping me with ES 26,

Ate Raissa for letting me butt in after the PRC meeting,

all the PRC peeps for, well, being there,

and ___, whose non-existence would surely make the world much less interesting:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!:D

*

Ilang Do-Day pa ba ang kakareerin, ex-VP ko?
Ilang posters pa bang Pho-Photoshoppin, ex-VP ko?
Tatlong semestre na akong nagpapa-cute sayo
Di mo man lang na-gets na naka-endeavor shirt ako...

Ilang schedule mo pang mememorize-in, ex-VP ko?
Ilang pictures mo pa ang nenenokin, ex-VP ko?
Gagawin ko ang lahat wag lang Plant Design nyo
Wag ka lang sana maging isang malaking dulo-dulo...

Ilang jokes pa ba ang iisipin, ex-VP ko?
Ilang musicals pa ba ang kakantahin, ex-VP ko?
Alam ko namang hindi ako ang hinahanap mo
Si Natalie Portman ay hindi kaya ng powers ko...

Kausapin mo lang ako o ___ _____
Walang humpay na ligaya
At asahang iniisip ka
Sa tanghali sa gabi at umaga
Wag ka sanang magimbal o ma-freak out
Dahil ang puso ko sayo lang, no doubt
At tayo'y mamumuhay ng maingay at buong...
Ligaya

*

Went to the Embassy on Thursday, waited for 3 bloody hours only to be told they needed an NSO Birth Certificate. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS? WHY DID I NOT CHECK THE VISA REQUIREMENTS?! Aaaaaagh. Must get visa by the end of this week.

Also feel like ES 26 idiot. Have Jerome and Lou to help, but of course that is no substitute for having functional brain for programming.

But. It is good to be alive.:D